I Failed at Being an Adult
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. I was terrible at adulting when I first moved out. Like, really bad. We’re talking microwave dinners at 11:30pm because I had no clue how to cook. It was pathetic. But, you know what? I’m not ashamed anymore. Why? Because I learned. And that’s what this is all about.
It was 2010, and I had just moved to Singapore from Melbourne. I was 24, thought I knew everything, and boy, was I wrong. My first apartment was a tiny studio in Little India. It had a bed, a tiny kitchen, and a bathroom that looked like it was designed in the 80s. But it was mine. And I had no idea how to take care of it.
Meet Marcus, My Savior
Let’s call him Marcus. He was my neighbor, a 30-something expat who had been living in Singapore for about five years. He took one look at my pathetic attempt at cleaning and said, “You’re a disaster, mate.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
Marcus became my unofficial mentor. He taught me how to cook, how to clean, and how to not live off instant noodles. He also introduced me to useful information daily tips that made my life so much easier. I owe a lot to that guy.
The Great Laundry Incident of 2011
Oh, god. Where do I even start? So, I had this idea that I could just throw all my clothes into the washing machine with some detergent and call it a day. Spoiler alert: that’s not how it works. I ended up with a pile of pink clothes, including my favorite white shirt. Marcus found me crying in the laundry room, and he just laughed. “You’re learning,” he said. And he was right. I was learning the hard way.
But here’s the thing: I’m not the only one who struggles with adulting. I’ve talked to so many people who feel the same way. My friend Sarah, for example, told me she once went 214 days without changing her air conditioner filters. “I had no idea it was even a thing,” she said. And that’s the problem. Nobody teaches us this stuff.
Why We Suck at Adulting
I think it’s because we’re not prepared. Schools don’t teach us how to budget, how to cook, or how to clean. They teach us math and science, which is great, but what about the stuff we need to survive in the real world? I mean, honestly, how many of us can say we learned how to do laundry from our parents? Not me. I had to figure it out on my own.
And don’t even get me started on relationships. That’s a whole other ball game. I remember my first serious relationship after moving to Singapore. It was a disaster. I had no idea how to communicate, how to compromise, how to be a good partner. I was a mess. But again, I learned. And that’s what matters.
The Importance of Self-Care
One of the most important things I’ve learned is the importance of self-care. It’s not just about bubble baths and face masks. It’s about taking care of your physicaly and mental health. It’s about making time for yourself, even when you’re busy. It’s about knowing when to say “no” and when to ask for help.
I remember this one time, about three months ago, I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I had a deadline at work, I was behind on rent, and I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I was a mess. But I knew I needed to take care of myself. So, I took a day off. I went for a walk in the park, I had lunch at that little place on 5th, and I just let myself breathe. It was the best decision I could have made.
Adulting is a Journey
Here’s the thing: adulting is a journey. It’s not a destination. It’s not something you can master overnight. It’s something you learn, something you grow into. And it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. It’s okay to not know everything. It’s okay to ask for help.
So, if you’re out there, feeling like a failure because you can’t cook or you don’t know how to change a lightbulb, don’t worry. You’re not alone. We’re all in this together. And we’re all learning as we go.
And remember, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to need help. Because that’s what life is all about. It’s about learning, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself. One messy, beautiful step at a time.
About the Author
I’m Alex, a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience. I’ve written for major publications, but honestly, my real expertise comes from my own life experiences. I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else. I live in Singapore with my cat, Whiskers, and I’m always learning something new. Follow me on my journey to self-sufficiency and beyond.
