Breaking the Taboo: Widowed Mum Helping Children Grieve at 32
It was a typical day for Naadira Aziz in 2023 when she found herself running 10 minutes late to pick up her older son, Ibrahim, from after-school kindergarten care. Little did she know that this delay would unearth a cascade of emotions for her six-year-old son, who was left in tears after being scolded for what he believed was simply a miscommunication.
Naadira, a widow at 32, had lost her husband, Hasyali Siregar Hasbullah, to Stage 4 melanoma in December 2022, leaving her to navigate the complexities of grief with her two young sons, Ibrahim and Idris. As she grappled with the aftermath of her husband’s passing, Naadira found herself in a constant battle to help her sons process their emotions, especially in environments where conversations about death and loss were often avoided.
SKIRTING AROUND GRIEF
Despite her efforts to inform her children’s teachers about their father’s death, Naadira encountered instances where the topic of grief was skirted around, leaving her sons to navigate their emotions in isolation. From Ibrahim having to educate his teacher about his father’s passing during a casual classroom exercise to encountering discomfort when mentioning her late husband’s name, Naadira’s journey highlighted the societal discomfort surrounding discussions on death and loss.
FEAR AND AVOIDANCE OF DEATH
The late Hasyali’s stoic personality and reluctance to address difficult topics further exacerbated Naadira’s struggles as she grappled with unspoken conversations and unexpressed emotions. Despite her attempts to broach important topics like finances and treatment options, the fear of acknowledging the inevitable led to a climate of avoidance and unspoken fears within their family.
IN SEARCH OF CONVERSATION AND COMMUNITY
In the aftermath of Hasyali’s passing, Naadira found solace in seeking out spaces where conversations about death and loss were normalized. Through initiatives like Death Over Dinner, she discovered the power of sharing personal experiences and memories, breaking the silence that often shrouds the topic of grief.
OPENLY TALKING ABOUT GRIEF FROM YOUNG
As Naadira continues to navigate her journey of healing and resilience, she emphasizes the importance of open conversations about grief, especially for children who experience loss at a young age. By fostering spaces where discussions on death and bereavement are welcomed, she hopes to create a more empathetic and understanding community where no one feels alone in their grief.
In a world where fear and avoidance often dictate our interactions with death and loss, Naadira’s story serves as a poignant reminder of the power of vulnerability and open communication. Through her experiences, she encourages others to find the courage to have difficult conversations, to express love and gratitude, and to embrace the fleeting nature of life with a renewed sense of appreciation and awareness.