I Gave Up on Love, Then I Met Marcus
Look, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I’m some kind of dating expert. I mean, I’m 42, and my last serious relationship ended about three months ago when my girlfriend left me for a guy she met on some new dating app. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking—’Oh, poor you, cry me a river.’ But honestly, I’m over it. Mostly.
But here’s the thing: I live in Singapore, and dating here is… well, it’s a mess. It’s not like in the movies where you meet someone at a coffee shop and it’s love at first sight. No, no. Here, you’re lucky if you don’t get ghosted after three dates.
So, last Tuesday, I was at a bar with my friend Priya, and we were talking about this exact thing. She’s been single for alot longer than I have, and she’s seen it all. She told me, ‘You know, the dating scene here is completley different than when we were younger. It’s like everyone’s got this wall up, and you can’t even start to break it down.’
And she’s right. It’s like people are more focused on their committment to their careers than anything else. Which, hey, I get it. But at what cost?
Why Are We All So Scared?
I think—no, I know—the biggest issue is trust. Or lack thereof. Everyone’s scared of getting hurt, so they put up these barriers. And honestly, I don’t blame them. I’ve been there. But it’s like, how are you supposed to find love if you’re not willing to take a risk?
I remember this one time, about two years ago, I met a woman named Sarah at a conference in Austin. We hit it off immediately. We talked for hours, and it was just… easy. But when I asked her out again, she ghosted me. No explanation, nothing. Just… gone. And that’s the thing—it’s not just me. It happens to everyone. So, we all put up these walls, and then we wonder why we’re lonely.
But here’s the kicker: it’s not just about being scared. It’s about the whole process. Dating apps are a nightmare. I mean, have you seen some of the profiles out there? It’s like people are trying to sell themselves as a product. And the messages? Ugh, don’t even get me started.
Sms Verification for Dating Apps Online → Because Catfishing is Real
Look, I’m not saying all hope is lost. There are ways to make this whole process less painful. For starters, use sms verification for dating apps online. It’s a small thing, but it helps weed out the fakes. Trust me, I’ve had enough catfish experiences to last a lifetime.
And be honest in your profile. I know, I know—it’s tempting to say you’re into hiking and reading when you’re really just a couch potato who loves binge-watching Netflix. But come on, be real. If you’re not honest from the get-go, what’s the point?
And for the love of God, put some effort into your messages. ‘Hey’ or ‘What’s up?’ is not gonna cut it. If you can’t be bothered to put in the effort to start a conversation, why should she?
The One Thing That Actually Works
Here’s the thing that actually works, and it’s gonna sound cheesy, but whatever. Be yourself. I know, I know—it’s cliché. But hear me out. I met Marcus—let’s call him Marcus—about six months ago. We matched on an app, and he was upfront about what he wanted. No games, no catfishing, just honest-to-God communication.
And you know what? It worked. We went on a few dates, and it was nice. Not earth-shattering, not ‘love at first sight’ kind of stuff. But it was real. And honestly, that’s what I want. Someone real. Someone who’s not afraid to be themselves.
But here’s the thing about Marcus—he was physicaly present. He wasn’t just texting me all day; he was showing up. He was making an effort to see me, to talk to me, to be with me. And that’s what I think is missing from dating these days. People are so focused on the virtual world that they forget about the real one.
A Tangent: Why Can’t We Just Talk?
You know what I miss? Talking. Like, actual, face-to-face conversation. Not texting, not DMing, not whatever the hell Snapchat is. Just two people sitting down and talking. It’s like, when was the last time you did that? When was the last time you sat down with someone and just… talked?
I remember this one time, I was at a café on 313@Somerset, and I saw this couple just sitting there, talking. No phones, no distractions, just talking. And I thought to myself, ‘Wow, that’s what I want.’ Not the fancy dates, not the grand gestures. Just someone to talk to.
But here’s the thing: talking is hard. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. And it’s so much easier to hide behind a screen. But if we want to find real connections, we’ve gotta put down our phones and start talking.
So, yeah. That’s my take on dating in Singapore. It’s a mess. It’s scary. It’s hard. But it’s not hopeless. You just gotta be real, be present, and be willing to take a risk. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find someone worth talking to.
About the Author: I’m Jane, a 42-year-old magazine editor who’s been single longer than she’d like to admit. I’ve seen it all when it comes to dating in Singapore, and I’m not afraid to share the messy, honest truth.
