I’m Basically a People-Pleaser
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m a yes-person. Always have been. It’s my biggest flaw, honestly. Last Tuesday, I found myself at some random event in a stuffy room above a hawker center, pretending to care about the 214th startup pitch of the month. Why? Because I said yes. Again.
And it’s not just big things. It’s everything. Need someone to help move? Yes. Need a favor at 11:30pm? Yes. Want me to commit to a project I don’t even care about? You guessed it. Yes.
My Breaking Point
About three months ago, I was at this café on 5th with my friend, let’s call her Marcus. I was complaining about how overwhelmed I felt. She looked at me and said, “Sarah, you’re your own worst enemy. You can’t keep saying yes to everything.”
Which… yeah. Fair enough.
I mean, I knew she was right. But it’s hard, you know? I don’t wanna be that person. The one who says no all the time. But honestly, I was at a breaking point. I was stretched so thin, I was basically a human piece of gum that had been chewed and stretched one too many times.
The Hardest No I Ever Said
So, I decided to try something new. Saying no. And let me tell you, it was harder than I thought. The first time, it was to a colleague named Dave. He asked me to take on this huge project, and I just… I said no. And you know what? The world didn’t end. In fact, it was kinda liberating.
But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. There were times when I felt guilty. Times when I second-guessed myself. But I stuck with it. And slowly but surely, I started to feel better. I had more time for the things I actually cared about. I was less stressed. I was happier.
How to Say No Without Feeling Like a Jerk
Now, I’m not saying you should go around saying no to everything. That’s not the point. The point is to set boundaries. To know your limits. To prioritize your own needs and wants. And to do that, you gotta say no sometimes.
Here’s what worked for me:
- Be honest but tactful. Don’t just say no. Explain why. “I can’t because I have a committment” or “I’m completley swamped right now” goes a long way.
- Offer alternatives. Can’t say yes to the whole thing? Maybe you can say yes to part of it. “I can’t do the whole project, but I can help with this one section.”
- Practice. It gets easier. I promise.
And look, I’m not gonna lie. There were setbacks. Times when I slipped back into old habits. But I kept trying. And I kept improving.
Why This Matters
Because life’s too short to spend it saying yes to things you don’t wanna do. It’s too short to spend it feeling overwhelmed and stressed and guilty. It’s too short to spend it pleasing everyone else while neglecting yourself.
And honestly, it’s not just about you. It’s about the people you’re saying yes to. Because when you’re stretched too thin, you can’t give your best to anyone. You can’t be fully present. You can’t give the quality of attention and effort that you—and they—deserve.
So, do yourself a favor. Start saying no. Start setting boundaries. Start prioritizing your own needs and wants. You won’t regret it.
Oh, and if you’re looking for more tips on this, check out this article I found on restaurant opening news. (Yeah, I know, random, right? But it was actually pretty helpful.)
Anyway, that’s my take. Now go forth and say no. Your future self will thank you.
Wait, What About This One Time?
Okay, so there’s this one time I said no and it was a huge deal. It was last year, and this guy I was kinda seeing asked me to go on this trip with him. And I just… I said no. And it was hard. Really hard. But it was the right decision. For me, at least.
And you know what? He respected me more for it. Because he saw that I knew my own mind. That I knew what I wanted and didn’t want. And that’s a good thing, you know? To be with someone who respects your boundaries.
Anyway, that’s enough about me. What about you? When was the last time you said no to something? How did it feel? Let me know. I’m genuinely curious.
And look, I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s not. But it’s necessary. So, do yourself a favor. Start saying no. Start setting boundaries. Start living your life for you. You won’t regret it.
Oh, and if you’re looking for more tips on this, check out this article I found on restaurant opening news. (Yeah, I know, random, right? But it was actually pretty helpful.)
Anyway, that’s my take. Now go forth and say no. Your future self will thank you.
About the Author
Sarah Tan is a lifestyle writer based in Singapore. She’s a self-proclaimed yes-person trying to become a no-person. When she’s not writing, she’s probably eating, reading, or complaining about the weather. You can find her on Twitter @sarahtanwrites.
